Friday, July 26, 2013

How long is too long???

Oh my goodness!  I cannot believe how many days have gone by since I have posted anything.  It has been a real bad couple of weeks for me, not only physically, but mentally as well.  I just can't seem to get my creative juices flowing -- as well as dealing with low red blood cell counts (we are talking dangerously low ~)  I have always thought, if the Lord wasn't holding me up, I'd drop dead in a heartbeat.  More lab work, pain, and the stress of non-existent finances ... it has been a trying few weeks, and no light at the end of the tunnel is to be seen.

I have pleaded to the Lord, 'Am I on the right track?';  Even my faith has taken a fall, 'Do you even care Lord?'.  "Where are you?'  I know we all feel like this from time to time.  The thing of it is, I become a hermit when I am like this - there is no where to go. 

My heart is crying out because a close friend of mine is going through some horrible heartaches this month as well -- and my heart just goes out to them so much -- that I am at a lost for the right words to comfort them.  But like her, I hang on to the promises I know the Lord will keep. 

So I have tucked myself behind the scenes --  and struggled on.  With the refrigerator almost empty, except for condiments - my cupboard filled with green beans and corn - it does not whet the appetite.  Bills that are not going to get paid next month, even my make-up is gone and there is no money to buy new.  I can't face the world without it.  I have been faithful, I have tithes, I have given to others freely, I have done for others and tried to lead them to our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. 

 I have even gone on an job interview; (something I have not done is many years - because of my disabilities).  Reading the face of the employer - you know my resume' hit the garbage can as soon as I drove off their parking lot.  I am still selling my cards; but the sales have not been what I need.  I have kept up on my tithes. 

Can there be a prayer chain going out for me this week?  Anyone out there know what I am doing wrong?  My back is against the wall - and there is no one to turn to but to Jesus, my all and all. 

If I am forced to shut off my TV, Internet and Phone -- this may be my last posting.  For then I shall be cut off from the world. 

I will share what cards I have done approx 2 weeks ago now???

Any questions on any of these is always welcomed.  I will check for comments.  But for now I will just show my pictures.





I love this verse on this card ...  'Believe every day that something wonderful is about to happen.'   Who knows ... maybe something will.  May God bless you all - I love you in Christ!  Jan

4 comments:

Emily Thubbron said...

Jan, these are absolutely stunning. I love the butterfly and piano keyboard one. Girl, we will get through this valley and when we reach the mountain top, we can shout at the top of our lungs..Praise God for He is Good..

Winnie said...

So sorry to hear of your troubles. Know that you aren't doing anything "wrong". Things like these happen to good people. Know that I am praying for you that things get easier and that you feel well. I remember when my late hubby was very sick, I kept thinking I wasn't praying hard enough, or wasn't doing something "right", but came to know that know matter what I wanted, I couldn't change the outcome, and the Lord would help me. It wasn't in the way I wanted, but he saw me through the rough times. Please let me know if I can help in anyway. You are so very kind and deserve assistance.

Jan Leslie said...

Oh Winnie and Emily -- I just am so overwhelmed by your kind words - and that goes such a long way. I had a good cry this morning, and then some hope - finally the creative juices started flowing. Of course nothing is taken care of ... but ... I think I am further from the tall buildings than I was before. LOL God bless you both - you are so kind and so good to me. Jan

Jennifer said...

Keep trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ! I know how it feels like he's not there, but then find out that he in fact was still carrying me. Praying for you.
Love your wonderful creations, what wonderful creativity you have!